How to Stop Worrying About Money
One of the main things people worry about is money. Those who don’t have money worry about not having it and those who have money worry about keeping it. We dwell on our past money mistakes, ponder over our current money woes and fret over our future money needs. We secure our money, protect our money and preserve our money. Indubitably, society would have us think that money is the be- all- end- all, and many of us believe that to be true. It’s no surprise that so many people have toxic relationships with money. But, in my humble, non-mental health professional opinion, there are steps we can all take to let go of money worry and enjoy a healthier co-existence with the all mighty dollar. Here are six tips that I think will help.
Tip # 1. Create a budget.
Many people worry about money because they don’t control their finances. Well, that’s easy enough to fix: put together a budget and stick to it. Write down your income and expenses (credits and debits), your outstanding debts, and your available cash. Include planned one-off purchases in your expenses, for example a new coat, carpet cleaning, a vet visit planned for next month, etc. I don’t recommend including one-off credits like a work bonuses or tax refunds until the money is in hand; even if you’re fairly certain you will receive it. Next, create a monthly plan that shows every expense covered (some expenses may need to be paid over several months). If your expenses cannot be covered with the monthly income you’ve listed, find expenses that can be reduced or cut until your budget either balances or you have a surplus. If and only if cutting expenses isn’t enough to get you in the black, add other resources (example: a pending tax refund) to your plan, so that you see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. The goal here is to get your finances on track AND ease your mind by creating visual proof that you can get out of a hole if you’re in one. Knowing that there is a solution to your problem and that you have control over it will help you feel empowered and ease worry.
Tip #2. Don’t spend money you don’t have and live within your means.
Be careful of taking on debt. As a rule of thumb, you should only take on debt for items that will create value for you, i.e. assets. If you decide to use debt to pay for general goods or expenses, limit the amount you borrow to that which you can pay back in the short term - within one year. Don’t sabotage yourself by getting into a cycle of debt. Doing so can be stressful and hard to get out of. If you are already in a cycle of debt, work through the budgeting activity referenced above to come up with a plan to get out of it. And, don’t stretch your income to the limit; if every dollar you have coming in is allocated a bill, you won’t be able to handle an emergency. Having no cushion can make anyone feel uneasy. Alternately, if you’re able to save one, two, or even three to six months worth of income, you’ll feel much more secure in your financial position and be able to relax a bit knowing that you have some reserves.
Tip # 3. Be realistic about where you are right now.
Thinking about all your financial goals and obligations can be overwhelming, especially when where you want or need to be seems out of reach. The reality is, sometimes where you want or need to be really is out of your reach based on your current trajectory. So, you first need to think about the path you are on. If your annual income is $50,000 and 85% of that goes to bills and taxes and you want to clear $10M in the next 3 years… needless to say that goal is unrealistic and can lead to worry because you see no way to get from where you are to where you want to be. Understand that your worry isn’t over your goal, per se; the problem is that the goal may not be suited for you at this time. To keep your mind in check, you have to be pragmatic. Focus your thoughts on what you need to do today to get on a path where making $10M is possible. That could mean that you need to change careers, add streams of income, become more valuable, etc. And, if you are not willing to do what it takes to get on a path that could realistically lead you to your goal, perhaps you should rethink your goal.
This also applies to being overwhelmed with basic living expenses. If you are unable to afford your basic necessities, consider ways you might be able to afford them, even if that means cutting back. The bottom line is that it’s better for your sanity to accept when you’re not on a fruitful track and change directions than to stay on that track and starve.
Tip # 4. Don’t compare yourself to others.
It can be tough to see others taking trips, buying big-ticket discretionary items or going out to dinner every weekend when it’s not in your budget to do the same. And, if everyone around you seems to have spending habits that are out of your league, it can appear that theirs is the norm and you need to catch and keep up. But, no matter how hard it is, don’t get caught up in keeping up with the Joneses and don’t concern yourself with how much money anyone else has or what they do with it. Live your life, make and spend your money within your means, and understand we all have different origins, different paths, and different endings. It’s impossible to fairly compare yourself to someone whose advantages, gifts, motives and challenges are not the exact same as yours. So stop. Don’t use other people as a gauge for anything other than evidence of alternatives.
Tip # 5. Let go of the idea of scarcity.
Money is intangible (the paper that represents money is tangible, but not money itself). Accordingly, there can be no shortage of money. (I’m not referring to the money supply which can be manipulated. I’m referring to limitless earning potential and the ease with which, irrespective of the consequences of doing so, money can be created from nothing.) Practicality aside, you could earn a trillion dollars with no risk to being told there is not enough money available to support your fortune. There is plenty of money. There is no cap to how many people are allowed to become financial secure or even rich – technically speaking. Many people have amassed money under difficult or oppressive circumstances, and they continue to do so even as others believe in lack.
To give you some perspective, there are people who are able to spend the average person’s annual salary on their child’s first birthday – with no problem. The car you lust for is sitting in someone’s garage along with ten more like it. The family home of my dreams costs less than some rich man’s pool house. The point I’m making is this: any amount of money that you worry about is obtainable. The money is there, you just have to figure out how to (legally!) access it.
Tip # 6. Put money into perspective.
When you’re worrying about money, your not really worrying about money. You’re worrying about what money pays for. If you had no money but you had everything that you could ever want and need, you wouldn’t care much less worry about money. So, money itself irrelevant. You, like most of us, just want a roof over your head, food on the table and clothes on your back. So if, for example, you’re worried about money because you can’t afford to pay your mortgage, focus on affording your mortgage - not money. Does being able to afford your mortgage mean that you need to move to a home that costs less? Do you need to cut out frivolous spending? Do you need to reduce unnecessary recurring expenses? Do you need to increase your income? Thinking of your finances this way might shift your inner dialog from a helpless state of worrying about money to an empowered state of applying solutions to get on track.
Following this or any of the tips I’ve listed should put you on a path to feeling less anxiety and worrisome over money. But, you have to be willing to allow a shift in your thinking to occur. You have to realize that no matter how shaky your money situation is you are not obligated to worry about it.
Acknowledge it? Of course.
Consider it? Ok.
Plan around it? Good idea.
Worry about it? Nope.